A Good Dose of Life

It’s been an interesting week.  My best friend from college came and stayed with us for the week because of a family situation she’s going through.  This past week has taught me a lot:
It has taught me that sometimes the most effective way you can be a best friend, is by just being there.   That one should always lead by example.  That everyone has something to bring to your life. 
And sometimes other relationships in your life are nothing like you thought they were.   Sometimes you thought they were more important than the other person, and the deflating moment is when u feel replaced–even worse?–when you’re replaced quickly.  It’s hard on the ego, but nothing that’s not a lesson within itself.   That’s the neat thing about life: in every bad situation there’s a lesson and a tool within that to make you better.
I’m well on my way to making myself better!  Still unsure if I want to go into details, but the next 12 weeks will bring incredible changes–a glimpse of who I really am/the old me, the confidence in myself to never make the same mistakes again with myself or others, and I’m bringing back the girl that can take over the world: so you better watch out!
The past week held lessons learned.   This week starts changes made!

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Me, Flawed?

“Be patient towards all that is unresolved in you and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms, like books that are written in a very foreign tongue.  Live the questions now.” –Rainer Maria Rilke

Today started as a very “off-day” for me.  Since last night I had been battling this feeling in the pit of my stomach that said something was wrong and it wouldn’t tell me what, let alone how to fix it.   As the feeling grew stronger, I got crankier.  It wasn’t pretty. 
But, that’s what friends are for.  And through talking it out I realized it was my darkest flaw of constantly wanting change that was bugging me.  Also, through further discussion I also realized that I wasn’t alone in having this flaw, and as we all know, just simply knowing that you’re not alone, can make your darkest flaw a bit lighter. 
Truth be known, I don’t have a lot of close friends, but those I do have more than make up for the lack of “quantity.”  Thank you.
Otherwise, things are quiet here for the moment, which in my world, is always good news.  I’m sure another story is sitting someplace just waiting to happen.   I’ll keep you posted.

Favorite Jeans

Today has brought another realization about life.  There are so many people that we come in contact with.  So many that are meant to be in your life for just a part of it.  Then there are others that are there throughout.  These are the people that you couldn’t have possibly guessed would be so during the younger days of cliques, popularity contests, and other discriminations school years tend to bring. 
I find that with older age brings with it a deeper vision of life.  I find with these certain relationships, that looks are triumphed by a stronger sense of connection.  10 years (or in some cases 15) brings so much with it.  Yet these are the relationship that no matter how much time has passed either in general or in between contact with each other, it always feels like a favorite pair of jeans-Familiar, worn, casual, forgiving. 
There are still times that in amoungst tending to kidlet, working, laundry, dishes, cleaning, making jewelry, blogging, and spreading my perspective simply with a goal to recieve a “WTF look”–I still get lonely.  But today has served as a great reminder that I don’t need to feel that way.   Yes, daytime contact with friends can lack from time to time, but my constants are always there if/when needed. –And the best part is that I don’t have to get all gussied-up to prep to see them.  They take me as I am no matter what.   I hope they know that the same goes for me…always and forever.
And to them, I owe a huge “thank you.” 

Oh Look, a Kitty!

**The Title Denotes the ADD Nature of this Post**

It’s funny how the loss of an object can drive a person insane.  This morning our TV remote is MIA.  I’m going nuts.  It now takes me 5 mins. to change the channel plus I have to get up…a travesty, I know!  I even went as far as to text our company from last night to see if they hid it on us as a joke.  Nope.  But think for a moment:  Wouldn’t that be the perfect crime?  Going to someone’s house and just swiping their remote.  That’s enough to drive ANYONE nuts I think.  So, I guess if anyone is looking to pull a prank, there’s probably one of the best.  I’m evil.

MISSING!!!!!!!

MISSING!!!!!!!

I love campfire nights.  I’m not always up for them during the day, as it requires cleaning and prep, but come nightfall when company is here and we’re laughing so hard drinks are being shot out of our noses, it’s well worth it.  This week brought our best man from our wedding whom we hadn’t seen in 5 years and another good friend of ours.  I love relationships where even in the extreme case of having 5 years passed, there’s no guilt, no awkwardness and you can pick right up where you left off.  There’s very few relationships like that in life.
One of the many topics pondered last night was the show “Life Goes On” and the character, Corkey.  I got to wondering if while casting for that part, if people got discriminated against because they weren’t disabled. Hmmmm..

I also have a new love affair with grass.  As in lawn…the legal stuff.  I realized that it’s been quite awhile since I lived anywhere where I could walk barefoot through the grass.  We re-did our backyard this year and I’m thoroughly enjoying the soft grass on my bare toes without the worry of “pickers.”  It doesn’t take much to amuse me.
Also, as of last night, I have another new love affair with Newman’s Own Medium Pineapple Salsa.  I’m pretty sure I could roll around in the stuff.  (Sorry for that mental image.)  It’s amazing.  That’s all there is to say about it.

Realize What?

I’m writing in a moment of peace as Hubby has taken Kidlet with him to run an errand.  We had a great 4th of July!  We enjoyed the parade, family, and fireworks. We saw guys in skirts, a deer driving a car and kidlet got see her 1st Fireworks which she did without so much as a peep.  She was great!  Ironically, the guys in skirts freaked her out the most.  You can catch pics here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/kbauman80/  
Today is a bit quieter, but we have some friends coming over tonight for a camp fire, which I’m really looking forward to.
I’m stuck in my head today.  Not a great place to be.  I find myself at an unexpected crossroads and I’m stuck in my head weighing the options, the possible consequences…running scenarios…all trying to figure out what’s best.  In this minute, I’m missing my younger days before the adult responsibilities of marriage and kids.  Looking back, I took that time in my WAY too seriously.  I’m in the “Big Leagues” now where every decision matters so much more cause it’s not just you.  Somebody REALLY needs to write a Manual on Navigating the 20’s.  I don’t think I’m qualified to do it just yet.  In the end it boils down to a balancing act between living life and being responsible.  Drat.
On a completely different, and random, note: Can somebody explain the song “Realize” by Colbie Caillat?  Even looking up the lyrics…I don’t get it.  Guess that’s not the only thing I’m not realizing at the moment…. Damn this blonde-ness.

Happy Mother’s Day!

If you’re a mom and you’re reading this….Happy Mother’s Day!   Unfortunately, my Mom passed away almost 4 years ago (May 16th, 2004).  It sucks sometimes, but I also know that she is in a better place and now she’s always with me.   In any case, Happy Mother’s Day, Mom!
I spent yesterday replacing some plants in my gardens.  We also shopped at Menards and Aldi’s (for groceries.)  We then went out to eat for Mother’s Day and came home and got kidlet to bed. 
I was tucked into the couch, watching Nascar, a laptop on my lap ready for the night, and my cell rang.  It was Amie and she wanted to know if I wanted to go out.  I hesitated…but Hubby insisted that I go and have some fun.  I went out and met the group at a local bar and had a good time.  I also played responsible and came home at 10:30….prude, I know.  But I wanted to be able to enjoy Mother’s Day instead of being hungover and tired.
As for today, Hubby greeted me with breakfast after I got to sleep in and gave me a card from kidlet which he had her sign with her hand prints in paint.  I love it!  They will also be getting me the book “The Last Lecture” when they can find (as stores have been sold out).  Hubby remembers me saying “I want that” after I saw it on TV.  He’s so awesome! 
Kidlet is laying down at the moment.   When she wakes, we’ll get her lunch and hubby is going to take her into town to do some shopping and visit his mom.  This will give me sometime to perhaps do more gardening or just relax.  I need to savor this as this is the last quiet weekend around here for a long time. –It’s the perils of living in a Boy Scout Camp in Summer. 

Nice Surprise

After everything that recent times has brought, it was nice to get an unexpected text from a High School friend and have that text chat carry on through the day.   What was even nicer was chatting about “deeper” things that we never have before.  It really made my day.  My cell phone plan change to 1,000 texts/mo. couldn’t have come at a better time.  🙂
This week brings Mother’s Day in a Floral Shop which in some ways resembles the Apocalypse….only with less confusion but the same amount of screaming.  (Silently in the bathroom 1/2 way through the day of course.  And NEVER in front of customers.)   This is the only holiday I dread a bit (Aside from Christmas)…meaning that it goes RIGHT into Gardening Season for us, so the busy-ness doesn’t break.  Great for business and job security…iffy for sanity. 
All in all things are getting back to normal…keep in mind it’s “me” saying “Normal” so by anyone else’s standard that’s non-existant here.  But that’s okay.  Our daughter is getting healthy again and *that’s* what matters. 
Off to try and lick my elbow. (j.k)