Summer Breezes

I know it’s been forever since I’ve written, but everyday I’m striving to meet so many deadlines that fall in November.   But, here are the updates in my life:

Knitting:  I’M FINISHED WITH SWEATERS AND HATS (Ornaments)!!!  I’ve started the Mitten Ornaments and just have Scarves left after that.  In English; I have 46 Ornaments left to knit before November.

Miniature Hat Ornaments

Miniature Hat Ornaments

As for the children’s hats, I still have 6 of those left to knit before November as well.  No pressure…. He he. 🙂   I still can’t believe that this business (Kate’s Grace) that kind of created itself is doing so well with no pre-exisiting inventory.  I’m so blessed.

Orchids:  They are doing amazing despite my lack of attention to them lately.  Pics to prove:

Lc. Llory Ann 'Paradise'

Lc. Llory Ann 'Paradise'

Blc. Lawless Zauberflote 'Rainbow'

Blc. Lawless Zauberflote 'Rainbow'

And my Passion Flower in bloom:

Passion Flower

Passion Flower

Family:
We’ve had a very busy summer.  Because of my husband’s job we don’t get to take the tradition summer vacations, but I’ve made quite an effort to go and do something as a family every weekend just around our area.  In doing that we’ve attended a Hot Air Balloon Rally, we went to the zoo, we went Jet Skiing, we went Camping with friends, and have attended various festivals.  So, our summer has felt full and I’m happy for that.  Kidlet has loved everything that we’ve done.

Hot Air Balloon Glow

Hot Air Balloon Glow

Kidlet enjoying the festivities

Kidlet enjoying the festivities

Well, I guess that’s all from here for now.  I’m off to do some business e-mails and place some orders…and so it goes 🙂

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Friday the 13th Came Early. Trust Me.

It’s been a very busy few days here.  Friday at work was just STRANGE.  First, I had a guy come in the shop and ask to use the phone.  It wasn’t until he was ON the phone that I over-heard “Yeah, I just got out of jail.  You still got that ride for me?”  Wonderful.   Dear God, I wanted to go out with a bang, but like this?  Figures.
I then fielded a call from one of the local funeral home directors who opened with “Do you have one of them, there Singing Valentine’s?”  Not knowing who it was I politely replied “We sure do,” and it was then that he revealed himself and told me that he was just kidding.  He proceeded to place an order for an upcoming funeral and when I asked for the last name of the deceased he says, “Butt. B-U-T-T.”  I didn’t say a word as I squelched a giggle.  It just figures that the name was the one thing he WASN’T kidding about. 
Saturday brought kidlet’s 2nd Birthday Party.  It’s true that her birthday isn’t until this week, but with V-Day falling on a Saturday this year and I working in a Floral Shop, it worked better to have it early this year.  We enjoyed family and friends, and it was a great afternoon.  Kidlet had a blast of her own seeing everyone.  It’s so hard to believe she’s 2 already!
On a different note, I’ve been blessed to have some former friends cross my path again.  I’m so happy to hear from them and get in touch with their lives.  It’s astonishing how fast time flies!
Otherwise, I’ve been living at the gym.  Friday was my day OFF of working out and it figures that I spent that whole morning trying to figure out when I could squeeze another workout in.  Sure enough, 6:45a.m. Sat. morning where was I?  In the gym parking lot waiting for it to open.  Yeah, I don’t know what’s happened to me either.
This week brings 5 more hours at the gym, and an additional day of work this week with Valentine’s Day.   It’s this holiday that always brings interesting stories.  I’ll be sure to share.

Into Every Life a Crap-Load of Rain Must Fall

It’s been a rough few days for me here.  There’s been a little family drama, and with that, a pretty bad day of missing my mom (even though she passed 4 1/2 years ago.)  I think it was all worth it–meaning the family situation should improve, and it feels really good not to be holding anything in anymore.   Today is better, but I’m still pretty tired from it all.  Yesterday was the lowest I’ve been in a  really long time.  Today is a new day and the past doesn’t dictate the future.  Time to move on.
In other news, we’re waiting for our check to come in for our down payment on our new car and as soon as it does, we’ll go an get it.  It’s been a long few weeks of getting it all worked out, but I don’t mind.  In my world, the anticipation is half the fun of the event itself.  It’s been nice feeling really excited about something, it’s been awhile since that’s happened too.  
As I write this, it’s an hour before we get our mail and see whether the check is here or not.  If it is, it means a trip to Wausau this afternoon to get the car.  In which case, I should be more ready than I am at present, so I better go fix that.  I’ll write more later.

Nuclear Fall Out

Yesterday was a hard day….it was a day I felt really lonely-really missing my family. –By that, I mean the family that doesn’t exist anymore.  I was missing my mom, but it was bigger than that.  I realized that I missed my nuclear family.  (My mom, my dad and I)  And I realized too that despite being unhealthy, dysfunctional, and corrupted, I belonged.  I really haven’t had that feeling since.  And the days I miss my mom, I mean I miss the very few days I got a real glimpse of her..usually right out of rehab.  I missed the fun that we had, and because of death, selective memory becomes easier and all those years we fought or rarely spoke or that avoided her like the plague (because of her clinical depression & alcoholism) seem to fade in remembrance of the few good times.  I know that.  
But in lieu of all this, I wish to become closer with my dad, in a relaxed friendship sort of way.  I know despite my age that I will always be his little girl and he will always be my dad, but after 27 years I think I’ve also earned some friendship thrown in there.–Sometime to forget our roles and enjoy each other as we are.  I guess I’m craving this more than usual because he is the only link I have left to the roots I miss and he is the only parent I have left. 
I wrote him an e-mail explaining this yesterday.  I have yet to get a reply, but I know this is a busy week for him, so we shall see. 
In the meantime, I also know I need to work on letting all this go.  The only thing that’s preventing that at the moment is this void I feel.  I guess I find myself desperately wanting to fill it (at least a little) with something so I can be the best person I can. (as in Wife, Mother and Friend)  Most days, letting go isn’t a big struggle–yesterday I just fell down I guess.  You win some and you lose some.  *shrug*
I did finally get a chance to work on my art last night.  I have a lot more to do, but somehow, the little I did get done was some pretty good therapy in lieu if a pretty bad day. 

Paper Beads I Started on...They need more work yet

Paper Beads I Started on...They need more work yet

 

The new canvas I started. (Also needs more work) I was in a Sci-Fi mood-which is odd for me.

The new canvas I started. (Also needs more work) I was in a Sci-Fi mood-which is odd for me.

I’m sure you noticed one of the Dragon Fly-like things has it’s head ripped off.  That was compliments of kidlet.  The head was found and is being repaired at the moment.  Oh well.  It’ll still work.

Special Kind of Pride

When I left High School, I had dreams of being this single girl living in New York in a studio apartment and being this “it” girl.  Needless to say, life didn’t take me there.  I’d be lying if I said that there was never I time I looked back and felt bad here and there, but today a light bulb went off.  Everything that’s happened in my life that’s brought me here is better than the best dream I ever could have had. 
As I mentioned, there was a bike race out here at Camp this weekend, and with that, I came across a mother of a girl I went to High School with.  We chatted a bit and she filled me in on a few of the girls in “the popular” crowd that I knew because we went to private grade school on up together.  Most of them are getting married next year, and somehow hearing that, for the first time in my life-I’m glad I’m not them. 
And then I realized that I may not have a flashy career, or live in a big city, or have traveled the world, or even make a lot of money, but I have a family.  I realized today, perhaps in a new way that there’s a special kind of pride being able to say that I’ve been married 5 years and knowing that most of the days in this marriage are still happy.  There’s a pride having kidlet and perhaps even knowing that she will be the only one for us.  There’s a pride in being established, stable, dare I say-even boring.  And that’s when it hit me like a ton of bricks, I’d take this over any of those other things, even New York, any day.
Also, today was the first day that I’m okay with the fact that I haven’t been single since my Freshman year of High School.  Most times, I kick myself for that, but today I realized, that’s just who I am, and there’s no shame in that.  I know I could do life alone if I had to, so, with that–who the hell cares?
Thank you life, for leading me where you have and teaching me the things you have.  Some of those lessons have been hard, but I wouldn’t trade them for anything.  Feel free to bring me more anytime.  The rest of you can have all the money and contacts in the world.  I’m great right where I am.