The Vag

Wowza…that’s a term I don’t use too often, but it’s the only one to fit the description of today. 
One of the “perks” of working at the shop I do is serving the older clientele.  With that, I get the distinct privilege of hearing about their health problems.  Today, I got the honor of hearing an elderly woman talk about her Hysterectomy and how “Usually they pull everything out of the Vag,” and “don’t get my tubes tied, pull the oven out.”  *sigh*  Thank you, “Superbad” for bringing the term “The Vag” into my life.  Thank you, elderly woman for forever ruining that for me.  Some days, I just don’t get paid enough. 

There’s some trouble brewin at work at the moment.  I don’t know specifics at the moment, but I’ll keep you posted.  It could be big.
Today was kidlet’s first day in the “Chipmunk Room” at Day Care.  She’s no longer a “Bunny.”  Our Day Care categorizes our children into groups of rodents…which I guess is appropriate.  Anyway, I was a little worried because she only goes Mondays and Fridays, so her classmates had the week to adjust and today was her first day.  She did great though, and really didn’t seem to care since she was with 5 other of her classmates that moved with her.  It was good.
In car news:  We considered getting the AWD version of the 2009 Pontiac Vibe, especially seeing the dealership had one of those on the lot.  However, after pricing it out, it was too much, so we went back to still wanting the basic model.  The good news is that they got one in today.  The “iffy” news is that it’s still a step up from the basic model which translates into a larger down payment.  After consideration, we decided that we’ll do it.  This means “Earnest” money went in the mail to the dealership today, so they hold the vehicle for us, and it means that once we get the down payment money, we should (finally) have a 2009 Pontiac Vibe in our driveway by the end of next week.  I’m excited because this is the first NEW car I’ve had in my life!  Go Me!
In Hot Air Balloon Ride News: Our trip was postponed on Aug. 31st because of wind.  We’ve rescheduled for Sept. 14th and the only thing left to do is cross our fingers for good weather and calm winds!
This weekend is a Bike Race out here at Camp.  Hubby is working it not only bringing money in for Camp, but for our Fire Dept.  It’s great for him….bad for me, meaning I get the single-parent gig this weekend, but it’s okay.  There’s not much I won’t do for kidlet.

A Day You Wouldn’t Believe. Hell, I don’t believe it and I was there.

Mother’s Day is the only holiday that leads to a phone conversation with an elderly person trying to convince them that there REALLY are no letters in a Credit Card number.   That was last year.  I thought that couldn’t be topped.  I was wrong. 
There’s an unexplained phenomenon that during any major holiday included with the deluge of phone orders are the stupid questions phoned in.  In the middle of chaos a lady wants to know what flowers are edible and if we carry them.  Where was this question a month ago when I had 3 hours to devote to it?  Nah, let me have it on a day we’re so busy I can’t remember my name.  And, why would anyone want to eat flowers anyway?  I mean, I know it’s done…but honestly, is our economy *that bad* already?
The *very first* order I pick up this morning to enter into our system at the shop, included a Mother’s Day card that read, “Happy Mother’s Day, Mom!  Thanks for loving me even when my underwear smells bad.”  Oh God.  I need a raise. 
I was being my normal self today, although admittedly a bit wired.   One of the most Christan of my co-workers comes up to me and says, “I’d love to see you stoned.”  That sent me into hysterics.  She said, “You’re already fun sober, I can’t imagine you high.”  Umm….thanks I think. 
Next, a male customer with a big voice came in demanding to speak with the person in charge.  Luckily, my boss was on the phone.  My co-worker explained this to him and asked if she could help him.  He bellowed out proudly, “I just wanted to let you folks know that back in 1895 at this very intersection was a Floral Shop!”  We all look at him, “Yeah, it’s us.”  He comes back with, “Well, I don’t know if it was you guys, but there was one here.”  Once again, “Yeah, us.”  I think the crazies were out today.
Finally, going back to stupid phone calls; once again, during chaos I get an elderly woman calling demanding that I take a message for my boss to save her some beautiful white and red Geraniums.  I take her name once more as I scribble a note and I hear.  “Now don’t you forget!  If he sells all of those plants, I’m going to blame you, Kate!”  Great.  The elderly are revolting against me now.  Oh well, I guess I have it coming.