Oops

I got a good dose of reality today, which is always welcomed and rewarding.  I have the eternal flaw of having a short attention span, and I really do hate it.  Furthermore, I’m a micro-manager…which I think is a nice term for “controlling.”  And it’s funny because as much faith as I have and as much as that faith has been tested and has always prevailed, it’s the first thing I forget when it comes to me.  I’m so busy trying to stay in control that I forget the very lesson that I’m NOT in control, that I DON’T know what’s best for me and that only God does.  *looking up* Sorry about that….my bad. 
So, I’ve once again been reminded by something that remains a bit less hurtful than a lightning bolt, that if it hasn’t happened in my life, it wasn’t supposed to and I can try and plan my future out the minute, but it won’t mean anything, because God will still over-ride it if need be.  For a long time, I’ve been okay with this, have embraced it and have even looked forward to it.  It’s just when my selfish ego takes over, wants something it hasn’t gotten and thinks it deserves that I forget all that I already have.  A stern private conference with myself in the car ride home today (be grateful you weren’t there) slapped me in the face and I reminded myself that’s I’m very well living the reward right now for surviving the tumultuous years of my childhood.  God knows best.  He always has.  He always will.  I’m sorry for forgetting that.

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