Thanks Mom

It’s been a good day, minus some weird poppy-growing, sandalwood sniffing, probably pot smoking boy ripping us (the floral shop) off a reed diffuser.  I didn’t have proof, so it didn’t go anywhere.  Definitely made me mad though.
I also have some religious co-workers who believe that the election of Obama will lead us closer to the “End of Days.”  They had the scriptures and teaching to back up their theories while all that was going through my head was a made-up McCain Ad that says “Don’t Vote for Obama” and a picture of the Earth exploding.  Maybe I should join his ad campaign.
I also got the bottom of something that has been bugging me.  I’ve been living each day with this huge sense of urgency in the pit of my stomach and I feared that simply, I was going crazy…but I think I understand it:
You see, I don’t live in fear of dying.  However, when my mom died there were so many circumstances that left so many questions that will never be answered.  I hate unanswered questions, however, ironically it’s this burden that has turned into my gift.  I live now with this urgency-not in fear of death-but to answer every unanswered question.  Whether it’s of relationships or experiences, should something happen to me or to someone close to me, I don’t want any unanswered questions.  For me or for them.   It’s this urgency that has given me courage to ask questions I never would have, try new things I would have let fear deny me of, and be who I really want to be.  It has opened a whole new chapter in my life and lead me down paths I never would have gone. –Thus creating new memories that are mine forever.
So, I guess this is where I say, “Thanks Mom.”

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2 Comments

  1. monrae said,

    October 21, 2008 at 5:27 pm

    In all the answers you have found, have you learned what tapioca is yet? Liquid… solid…

  2. kbauman80 said,

    October 23, 2008 at 9:50 pm

    LOL….um no PROVEN answer yet. I’m thinking it’s the 8th wonder of the world. 🙂


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