Special Kind of Pride

When I left High School, I had dreams of being this single girl living in New York in a studio apartment and being this “it” girl.  Needless to say, life didn’t take me there.  I’d be lying if I said that there was never I time I looked back and felt bad here and there, but today a light bulb went off.  Everything that’s happened in my life that’s brought me here is better than the best dream I ever could have had. 
As I mentioned, there was a bike race out here at Camp this weekend, and with that, I came across a mother of a girl I went to High School with.  We chatted a bit and she filled me in on a few of the girls in “the popular” crowd that I knew because we went to private grade school on up together.  Most of them are getting married next year, and somehow hearing that, for the first time in my life-I’m glad I’m not them. 
And then I realized that I may not have a flashy career, or live in a big city, or have traveled the world, or even make a lot of money, but I have a family.  I realized today, perhaps in a new way that there’s a special kind of pride being able to say that I’ve been married 5 years and knowing that most of the days in this marriage are still happy.  There’s a pride having kidlet and perhaps even knowing that she will be the only one for us.  There’s a pride in being established, stable, dare I say-even boring.  And that’s when it hit me like a ton of bricks, I’d take this over any of those other things, even New York, any day.
Also, today was the first day that I’m okay with the fact that I haven’t been single since my Freshman year of High School.  Most times, I kick myself for that, but today I realized, that’s just who I am, and there’s no shame in that.  I know I could do life alone if I had to, so, with that–who the hell cares?
Thank you life, for leading me where you have and teaching me the things you have.  Some of those lessons have been hard, but I wouldn’t trade them for anything.  Feel free to bring me more anytime.  The rest of you can have all the money and contacts in the world.  I’m great right where I am.


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