Summertime Hallelujah

Sorry I’ve been so quiet on-line for the past few days…as odd as it is to say, I guess I’ve been getting down to the business of living.  I’ve been savoring morning cartoons with kidlet, enjoying the 1/2 hour with her spent coloring at the kitchen table, I’ve been loving watching her walk around the backyard and throw the ball for Rowdy.  I’ve also been enjoying the evening post-kidlet just watching TV next to Hubby while holding hands.  I’ve taken “old” roses home from work and have made a point to enjoy them everyday….hence the 50 or so pictures of them. 
It’s been a rough few weeks here.  Swept up by work, and emotions, and confusion.  But as the dust settles, my world here is clearer, my marriage stronger, and my zest for life refreshed. 
I know I’ve said it before, but I feel I’m enjoying this summer more than others.  I think it’s because I’m taking time and making a point to do so.  I know in at least the last 5 summers I would be driving to work, noticing the leaves changing on a tree branch and wondering where the summer went.  This year has been delightfully different.  I’ve realized that summer is wrapped up in sundresses, festivals, days spent with best friends, corn on the cob, watermelon, bbq’s and lemonade.  It’s in pictures of sunsets, incoming storms, friends and your kid in a pool or at the park.  As in any season, it’s about the moment.  Enjoying the moment and capturing that moment.  But for that to happen, an effort has to be made and as simple as a concept as that is, I think this is the first summer in a long time, that I “get” that.  Hallelujah.

Coloring!

Coloring!

 

In the Garden

In the Garden

 

Roses from work

Roses from work

 

Loving the Park!

Loving the Park!

 

Sunset

Sunset

 

Our ALOONminum Loon made for us by our friends who melted down our TV antenna that blew off our roof.  It's me. Are you really surprised?

Our ALOONminum Loon made for us by our friends who melted down our TV antenna that blew off our roof. It's me. Are you really surprised?

McLovin Saturday

How could I forget this?  Last night while at the “Creative Arts Walk” I must have touched a soap or lotion or something, because I was on the way home from the grocery store/liquor store, I noticed that my right hand smelled like guys cologne.  It was a bit baffling to think that I was completely sober and for the life of me, I couldn’t figure out how only my right hand smelled like a guy.  Welcome to my life.
This morning has been very good.  We went to the Farmer’s Market, the park, McD’s, and then saw the Budweiser Clidesdales.  They’re going to parade around downtown this morning, and stop at bars to deliver cases of beer.  I think they should add to the whole “parade” thing by throwing out glass bottles of beer instead of candy.  Yeah, I should write for “Family Guy.” 
We’re home now for a bit so Hubby and Kidlet can nap, and I really don’t know what this afternoon will hold.  I know this evening we’re hosting a campfire here with some of the staff, which should be fun as it’s been a couple of weeks since I’ve seen them.  I’m having a serious craving for Tequila Rose, but just bought Vanilla Doc, so I’ll have to deal.
Staff at camp also celebrates “Christmas in July” each year where they swap names and do gag gifts.  The staff member that got my Hubby’s name made us a picture collage to hang in our bedroom of the staff member that walked in our house roughly 6 weeks ago while hubby and I were “busy” to tell us about a Porcupine.  I’ve made the joke ever since that “It’s (Intercourse) just not the same without Jim.”  Now we have Jim in our bedroom permanently.  I think it’s hilarious!  Jim (the “make myself at home” staff member) apparently didn’t agree and was mad.  Oh well.  Hopefully he’s learned his lesson.  *shrug*

Pit-Stained Art

Today was quiet all the way around, which was good.  We were kept busy at work by a funeral, (which also kept us out of trouble.)  The humidity was pretty bad today illustrated by pit-stains in a fresh shirt when anyone walked more than three steps.  Guess that’s one of the “cons” of working in a greenhouse.
There was a “Creative Arts Walk” in the downtown area tonight.  I grabbed the info at work and pondered going.  Come 6:00p.m. our on-again off-again severe weather seemed to be off-again, so I checked with Hubby to see if he could stay home with kidlet while I run in and check out a demo, and grab some necessities at the store. 
I got there and it was great!  Yeah, it was a bit crowded, but there was a Collage Artist, a couple Jewelry Makers, a Handbag Artist, an Acrylic Artist, a Glass Jewelry Maker and Wood Carvers all demonstrating their crafts.  It was so inspiring!  I milled around a bit, spending a lot of time in a favorite local shop making a mental B-Day & Christmas list.  I went and got popcorn and saw the lady that makes Handbags.  I picked her brain a bit and found out that she just started her trade in January!  All in all, it was a wonderful night! 
Tomorrow will bring the Farmer’s Market, and the park, and MAYBE some berry picking.  We’ll just have to see. 🙂

What’s in a Dream?

I just had the oddest thing happen.  A few words said on TV triggered a memory of a dream I had last night.  It was of my mom, who was talking to someone else, but I kept interrupting her with questions about my future.  I know I asked her several questions, but the only couple I recall is that I asked her if I will get cancer and she said yes.  I asked her how old I will be when I get and she said, “31.”  I know I asked her what kind I’ll have, and she answered either Pancreatic or Hodgkin’s Lymphoma.  I guess time will tell.

Who needs Shrinks and Doctors?

It’s been a long few days, but also very enriching.  Hubby and I were up until midnight Tuesday night discussing us.  It’s probably one of the best conversations we’ve had during our marriage and I have walked away actually feeling that our marriage is stronger than ever.  Don’t get me wrong, the external forces around here are still difficult, but my confidence that we’ll make it is 100%.
I got to spend yesterday with my best friend, (the day after her surgery).  I thought we would hang at her house while I took care of her, but she wanted to go out and play.  So, we went to Abbotsford for breakfast, then on to Marshfield to a coffee shop, the mall and Target.  It’s probably one of the best days I’ve had in 17 mos.  It was so good to take 2 hours to eat a meal.  It was so good to talk about anything and everything.  It was so good to just be me for a few hours.  I think it was what we BOTH needed.  I know I did.
I intended to swing by Nicole and Si’s after to see my God Son, however we met by chance at the local gas station instead.  Their son, Marshall, is SOOO CUTE!  We’ll all be getting together again Aug. 10th as that his Baptism.  I’m excited!
Today is back to the grind, which is okay too as tomorrow is back to work and Day Care for kidlet and I.  Today’s mission is to launder the bedding.  It’s in progress, but not done yet.  It’ll get there.   
I was hoping to pick Strawberries this weekend with Hubby & kidlet, but I fear we missed Strawberry season by a mere week.  So, I’m not exactly sure what we’ll do yet.  It’ll figure itself out I suppose.

A Difficult Reminder

Yesterday work was slow, and long.  But, I discovered that one on my co-workers thought the words to “Proud Mary” were “ROWING down the River.”  That kept us entertained for a few hours.  We also had the semi-usual task of chasing a chipmunk through the store.  But otherwise, not much to report on the work front.
My personal life is rocky at the moment.  I’m a firm believer that if you’re not happy with something in your life, that you change it.  Life is too short to just “settle.”  I’ve already settled enough in my life prior to this.  I don’t deserve to “settle” anymore.  So, down to work Hubby and I got.  For 2 long days.  It started with an argument that we have this time every year of how much camp sucks him in and how much we (his family) gets the scattered remains of the man when he GETS to come home.  Some would say, “Well, that’s just life.”  I don’t agree.  Since my mom passed in 2004, I live more with a sense of urgency than I had before.  I live with the idea of “what if this is my last day” more in the front of my mind than normal (not out of the fear of death, but the fear of regret.)  It’s a curse, but also a blessing, because it gives me strength to say things, to do things, to squish regrets, to work hard and to play hard.  I wouldn’t change it.  I consider it a gift. 
It’s also this strength that allows me to stick to my perspective of life and negotiate with my husband that he take 8 hours off a week to be with kidlet and I.  We also negotiated that his radio (communication device for camp) be turned off more at home, and we (his family) remain at the same priority level during these 10 weeks of hell that we are in the off-season.  I don’t ask too much.  I ask enough so that he can relish in his daughter’s life and family unity.  I like to think I ask just enough so that if today were his last day (God forbid) he wouldn’t be kicking himself.  As the famous line goes, “No one on their death bed ever says “I wish I had worked more.””
All in all, I’m proud of myself.  For sticking to my guns, for not settling, for not just “Taking it.”  I’m proud of myself too because I know that if this world I live in would come crumbling down, I’m strong enough to survive.  I’m strong enough to start over.  No matter what, I’m strong enough to be me.  These past 2 days has shown me that.  It’s a nice reminder.
After all of this, please don’t think that I’m ungrateful for my husband.  It’s quite the opposite.  I’m grateful of how hard he does work for us.  The remainder 42 weeks of the year, we are a great match for each other.  It all boils down to as hard as he works, it’s that work-a-holic that leaves us in the dust during these 10 weeks.  And it that issue that I value my daughter and myself enough to fight for. 
I’m hoping that after all of this, this will be the last year we have to argue about this.  Not necessarily that he get a different job, but more that he retains us a top priority next year and that the changes we’re making now hold through to next year.  I guess time will tell. 

On a different topic. My Best Friend has surgery today to remove a tumor.  I’ll be going to take care of her tomorrow.  I should be back tomorrow night.  I’m looking forward to it, actually.  It will be a great chance for us to reconnect.

3:00 a.m. is NOT normal!

I’m cranky.  If I wrote this thing only when things were great and I was happy, it would be a bit too “Care Bear-ish” for my standards. –Not that I have anything against the Care Bears.  I loved them as a kid and had Wish Bear, but I digress…
I’ve been sick for a week with a head/chest cold and some random bouts of nausea.  Kidlet was gracious enough to bring it home from Day Care.  So, last night, despite it being Sat. I just couldn’t do anything.  The game of “tickle in my throat leads to coughing up a lung” for the past 2 days had me wore out.   However, I told hubby that if wanted to go out he could.  He did. 
He didn’t leave until I was in bed, (which is oddly normal as the staff are younger than us and go out WAY later.)  Somehow, I just assumed he would still be back at a normal hour.  Yeah, well, 3:00a.m. isn’t normal.  Now it’s not that I don’t trust him, and I know I gave him the okay.  But while he was out, I was up 4 times with kidlet, and I guess I’m frustrated because he’ll be dragging all day now, and I’m feeling like a single mom 24/7.  That, and I guess I’m jealous that he got to go out and I didn’t.  Hey, at least I can admit it. 
When people hear of our living situation being that Hubby works at a Boy Scout Camp and that’s also where we live, people think it’s awesome.  I’m writing this 1/2 way through the 10 weeks of hell (of camp season) and I’m tired.  Working here means Hubby literally works 7 days a week, plus he’s on call 24/7 in case of equipment failure or emergencies.  It’s this time of year that just wears me down. 
But like the magnet I got from @AnnOhio (www.Twitter.com) I just have to “Put on My Big Girl Panties and Deal With It.”
In the meantime, thanks for letting me vent.

Guess the next color of the crap I cough up

I’m home sick today playing, “Guess the next color of the crap I cough up.”  Yeah, I don’t envy me either.   Otherwise, I’m doing well.  I’m secretly hoping Hubby and I can lay-low this weekend and relax.  Tonight, if all works out we’ll watch “Clerks” and enjoy some take out.  Tomorrow, he has to work until about noon, and then I have no idea what’s going on.   Hopefully nothing.  What can I say?  I’m getting old.
Nicole and Si and their new baby boy, Marshall, (my God Son) are all doing great and resting at home today.  I still can’t believe that poor girl had 29 hours of labor.  I promise to never complain about my delivery again.  Damn.  She’s sore, but doing well.  Things are going to be great for them.
One of my best friends on Twitter (http://twitter.com) (and my adopted-mom) is realizing her dreams.  She visited Texas 5 years ago, and promised herself in 5 years she would live there.  As of today, she landed a new job there.  I’m so excited for her!  She’s an inspiration and example of how anyone can achieve their dreams!  Congrats @AnnOhio!  
Well, off to pick up kidlet from Daycare and resume Mom duties.

I’m a God Mother!

My God Son arrived at 1:06a.m. this morning. He was 8 lbs. 1oz. and 19″ long.   My friend had 29 hours of labor and a natural birth, so I’m not going to complain about my delivery anymore.  Yikes! 
They are all doing wonderfully and resting well.  I just had to share the great news!
Off to knit! Yay!

The Parenting Nuclear Bomb

Oh God…I think I’m still in shock.  What happened?  I went to bed with my loveable little girl and woke up to…well, someone else.  Enter the crying, the whining, the getting-into-everything, the throwing food, waddling away from me (she can’t quite run yet), the “I want this, no I don’t…wait, yes I do” and finally, laughing when I discipline her?  Oh no she didn’t!!!!  Yes….yes she did.  Hell broke out from 2:00-7:30p.m.  I’m exhausted.  If this is any indication of the “Terrible Two’s” whoever came up with that title needs to drug out into the street and shot for the grotesque understatement.  I hereby rename it the “OMG, give me a beer or the suicide hotline, can I trade her for a puppy?” years.  –That’s also on the nice end I suppose. 
Now, don’t get me wrong, I love her, I do.  But I can honestly say that I’ve never seen this side of her until today.  Hence the shell-shock.  Tomorrow is another day.  Pray for me.

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