Who needs Shrinks and Doctors? July 24, 2008

It’s been a long few days, but also very enriching.  Hubby and I were up until midnight Tuesday night discussing us.  It’s probably one of the best conversations we’ve had during our marriage and I have walked away actually feeling that our marriage is stronger than ever.  Don’t get me wrong, the external forces around here are still difficult, but my confidence that we’ll make it is 100%.
I got to spend yesterday with my best friend, (the day after her surgery).  I thought we would hang at her house while I took care of her, but she wanted to go out and play.  So, we went to Abbotsford for breakfast, then on to Marshfield to a coffee shop, the mall and Target.  It’s probably one of the best days I’ve had in 17 mos.  It was so good to take 2 hours to eat a meal.  It was so good to talk about anything and everything.  It was so good to just be me for a few hours.  I think it was what we BOTH needed.  I know I did.
I intended to swing by Nicole and Si’s after to see my God Son, however we met by chance at the local gas station instead.  Their son, Marshall, is SOOO CUTE!  We’ll all be getting together again Aug. 10th as that his Baptism.  I’m excited!
Today is back to the grind, which is okay too as tomorrow is back to work and Day Care for kidlet and I.  Today’s mission is to launder the bedding.  It’s in progress, but not done yet.  It’ll get there.   
I was hoping to pick Strawberries this weekend with Hubby & kidlet, but I fear we missed Strawberry season by a mere week.  So, I’m not exactly sure what we’ll do yet.  It’ll figure itself out I suppose.

A Difficult Reminder July 22, 2008

Yesterday work was slow, and long.  But, I discovered that one on my co-workers thought the words to “Proud Mary” were “ROWING down the River.”  That kept us entertained for a few hours.  We also had the semi-usual task of chasing a chipmunk through the store.  But otherwise, not much to report on the work front.
My personal life is rocky at the moment.  I’m a firm believer that if you’re not happy with something in your life, that you change it.  Life is too short to just “settle.”  I’ve already settled enough in my life prior to this.  I don’t deserve to “settle” anymore.  So, down to work Hubby and I got.  For 2 long days.  It started with an argument that we have this time every year of how much camp sucks him in and how much we (his family) gets the scattered remains of the man when he GETS to come home.  Some would say, “Well, that’s just life.”  I don’t agree.  Since my mom passed in 2004, I live more with a sense of urgency than I had before.  I live with the idea of “what if this is my last day” more in the front of my mind than normal (not out of the fear of death, but the fear of regret.)  It’s a curse, but also a blessing, because it gives me strength to say things, to do things, to squish regrets, to work hard and to play hard.  I wouldn’t change it.  I consider it a gift. 
It’s also this strength that allows me to stick to my perspective of life and negotiate with my husband that he take 8 hours off a week to be with kidlet and I.  We also negotiated that his radio (communication device for camp) be turned off more at home, and we (his family) remain at the same priority level during these 10 weeks of hell that we are in the off-season.  I don’t ask too much.  I ask enough so that he can relish in his daughter’s life and family unity.  I like to think I ask just enough so that if today were his last day (God forbid) he wouldn’t be kicking himself.  As the famous line goes, “No one on their death bed ever says “I wish I had worked more.”"
All in all, I’m proud of myself.  For sticking to my guns, for not settling, for not just “Taking it.”  I’m proud of myself too because I know that if this world I live in would come crumbling down, I’m strong enough to survive.  I’m strong enough to start over.  No matter what, I’m strong enough to be me.  These past 2 days has shown me that.  It’s a nice reminder.
After all of this, please don’t think that I’m ungrateful for my husband.  It’s quite the opposite.  I’m grateful of how hard he does work for us.  The remainder 42 weeks of the year, we are a great match for each other.  It all boils down to as hard as he works, it’s that work-a-holic that leaves us in the dust during these 10 weeks.  And it that issue that I value my daughter and myself enough to fight for. 
I’m hoping that after all of this, this will be the last year we have to argue about this.  Not necessarily that he get a different job, but more that he retains us a top priority next year and that the changes we’re making now hold through to next year.  I guess time will tell. 

On a different topic. My Best Friend has surgery today to remove a tumor.  I’ll be going to take care of her tomorrow.  I should be back tomorrow night.  I’m looking forward to it, actually.  It will be a great chance for us to reconnect.

3:00 a.m. is NOT normal! July 20, 2008

I’m cranky.  If I wrote this thing only when things were great and I was happy, it would be a bit too “Care Bear-ish” for my standards. –Not that I have anything against the Care Bears.  I loved them as a kid and had Wish Bear, but I digress…
I’ve been sick for a week with a head/chest cold and some random bouts of nausea.  Kidlet was gracious enough to bring it home from Day Care.  So, last night, despite it being Sat. I just couldn’t do anything.  The game of “tickle in my throat leads to coughing up a lung” for the past 2 days had me wore out.   However, I told hubby that if wanted to go out he could.  He did. 
He didn’t leave until I was in bed, (which is oddly normal as the staff are younger than us and go out WAY later.)  Somehow, I just assumed he would still be back at a normal hour.  Yeah, well, 3:00a.m. isn’t normal.  Now it’s not that I don’t trust him, and I know I gave him the okay.  But while he was out, I was up 4 times with kidlet, and I guess I’m frustrated because he’ll be dragging all day now, and I’m feeling like a single mom 24/7.  That, and I guess I’m jealous that he got to go out and I didn’t.  Hey, at least I can admit it. 
When people hear of our living situation being that Hubby works at a Boy Scout Camp and that’s also where we live, people think it’s awesome.  I’m writing this 1/2 way through the 10 weeks of hell (of camp season) and I’m tired.  Working here means Hubby literally works 7 days a week, plus he’s on call 24/7 in case of equipment failure or emergencies.  It’s this time of year that just wears me down. 
But like the magnet I got from @AnnOhio (www.Twitter.com) I just have to “Put on My Big Girl Panties and Deal With It.”
In the meantime, thanks for letting me vent.

The Parenting Nuclear Bomb July 16, 2008

Oh God…I think I’m still in shock.  What happened?  I went to bed with my loveable little girl and woke up to…well, someone else.  Enter the crying, the whining, the getting-into-everything, the throwing food, waddling away from me (she can’t quite run yet), the ”I want this, no I don’t…wait, yes I do” and finally, laughing when I discipline her?  Oh no she didn’t!!!!  Yes….yes she did.  Hell broke out from 2:00-7:30p.m.  I’m exhausted.  If this is any indication of the “Terrible Two’s” whoever came up with that title needs to drug out into the street and shot for the grotesque understatement.  I hereby rename it the “OMG, give me a beer or the suicide hotline, can I trade her for a puppy?” years.  –That’s also on the nice end I suppose. 
Now, don’t get me wrong, I love her, I do.  But I can honestly say that I’ve never seen this side of her until today.  Hence the shell-shock.  Tomorrow is another day.  Pray for me.

Don’t Throw the Potatoes! July 15, 2008

It took an act of God, but I FINALLY got to catch-up on some sleep yesterday.  I think this may be the first time in 16 mos. or so.  So, I’m actually feeling pretty darn good.  Now, if those damn Housekeeping Fairies would show up, I could die happy.
I’ve discovered that no amount of warnings could ever exist to prepare for when your kid starts to walk and gets good at it.  Wow. 
“Don’t throw the potatoes!”
“Get off the Kitchen Table!”
“Don’t walk in the bathtub!”
“How did you get up there?”
“Don’t play with the soda cans!”
These have all been added to my vocabulary.  She impresses/scares the hell out of me everyday.

Otherwise, there’s not a whole lot that’s new.  Our next big event is at the end of August, so until then I’m back to making fun of everyday life.  It works.
No word on if I have a God Son yet.  She was due the 10th…poor thing.  I’ve suggested 4-wheeler rides, mowing their bumpy yard and having sex to try and help.  Still nothing.  In the meantime, I guess I’ll keep knitting his monkeys.  *shrug*

Don’t Lick The Dog! July 9, 2008

Strange things have been happening lately around here.  I took my cat to the groomer yesterday to get her shaved.  Apon her arrival home, my dog started humping her.  Great.
Kidlet has also started calling every vehicle she sees, every boy/man she sees and our cat, “daddy!”  I guess I get around.  (Oh, dear.)  It’s not quiet either…it’s all-out yelling it, which makes trips to Walmart rather interesting.
Friday is supposed to be one of the hottest & most humid days for us so far this summer.  That’s WONDERFUL considering that’s the day I’m at work in the Greenhouse.  I fully expect to leave a woman and come back a puddle of goo.  Gross.  Have the shower ready!  And I should probably just plan on burning my clothes that night.
Finally, I knew parenting would cause some weird phrases to leave my mouth, but I never in a million years would have thought I would have to say the following:
“Don’t lick the dog!”
“Don’t lick the cat!”
“Get the cheese out of your toes!”
“The cat is not daddy”
“Get the dog toy out of your mouth!”
“Don’t eat with your feet!”
I’m sure there will be more.  But in the meantime, welcome to my life. 

Up, Up & AWAY!!! July 9, 2008

IT’S OFFICIAL.  OUR HOT AIR BALLOON RIDE IS SCHEDULED FOR AUGUST 31ST!  THE DEPOSIT IS DOWN!  IT’S A GO!!!!!!  YAY!  Another dream coming true!  I really don’t think I could ask for a better husband than the one I have.  He’s up for anything and believes anything is possible.  He’s amazing.  Without him, I wouldn’t be doing 1/2 of these things.
I think this may be the best summer in a REALLY long time.  We haven’t done anything extravagant, but trips to the park with kidlet, or our weekly get-togethers with friends and cook-outs are really making the summer FEEL like summer.  I’m LOVING it!–Sorry McDonald’s for ripping that off…
The Hot Air Balloon Rally is this weekend, which I’m especially exicted to bring my camera to.  (Yes, I’m aware of my geek status, and I’m okay with it.)  Look out Flickr!!– come next Tues., I’ll be testing it’s server capacity.
Also, my God Son is due TOMORROW!!!!  I’m so freaking excited!!!!!  I have someone to knit for for the rest of my life!  Also, we have it worked out that we’ll be doing an arranged marriage between kidlet and him…okay, not really, but the thought of it makes me excited.

Realize What? July 5, 2008

I’m writing in a moment of peace as Hubby has taken Kidlet with him to run an errand.  We had a great 4th of July!  We enjoyed the parade, family, and fireworks. We saw guys in skirts, a deer driving a car and kidlet got see her 1st Fireworks which she did without so much as a peep.  She was great!  Ironically, the guys in skirts freaked her out the most.  You can catch pics here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/kbauman80/  
Today is a bit quieter, but we have some friends coming over tonight for a camp fire, which I’m really looking forward to.
I’m stuck in my head today.  Not a great place to be.  I find myself at an unexpected crossroads and I’m stuck in my head weighing the options, the possible consequences…running scenarios…all trying to figure out what’s best.  In this minute, I’m missing my younger days before the adult responsibilities of marriage and kids.  Looking back, I took that time in my WAY too seriously.  I’m in the “Big Leagues” now where every decision matters so much more cause it’s not just you.  Somebody REALLY needs to write a Manual on Navigating the 20’s.  I don’t think I’m qualified to do it just yet.  In the end it boils down to a balancing act between living life and being responsible.  Drat.
On a completely different, and random, note: Can somebody explain the song “Realize” by Colbie Caillat?  Even looking up the lyrics…I don’t get it.  Guess that’s not the only thing I’m not realizing at the moment…. Damn this blonde-ness.

Walking the Line :) June 30, 2008

It’s June 30th.  About 7:00p.m. Kidlet started WALKING!!!  I’m so freaking excited!  Unfortunately, Hubby missed it as he’s off tending to a Camp inspection.   I’ve been stressing so much about her not walking yet.  I guess she was just a late bloomer.  Now, to go and buy some duct tape. 
Work was busy today.  We had a lot of work for a funeral tomorrow and I found myself in front of the ribbon rack this afternoon, trying to find some thing appropriate to finish an order with.  I realized all the ribbon I was looking at was either to drab, or too “Yay, you’re dead!” 
Yes, welcome to my world, where I spend my days riding that fine line between not showy enough, and too “Yay, you’re dead!”  
On a different note, after dealing with a week of ”Amish Television” and 2 stat-icy stations, our Satellite is FINALLY back running.  We butchered 80% of the trees in our backyard in order to open up the view to the lake, but also in hopes of getting better satellite reception.  We found out today that we missed 3 trees that were our main problem.  They’re cut now too and mission: On-Going Entertainment is accomplished. –> Not Pres. Bush on an Air Craft Carrier accomplished….ACTUALLY Accomplished.  Anyone need fire wood?
Anyway, it’s a good day.  I’m still rolling naked in the blissful anticipation of the Balloon Rally and our Balloon Ride.  I’m loving life! 

 

Foamy Ketchup Kind of Day June 13, 2008

What a day it’s been.  Don’t get me wrong, I love my job, but days like this when it gets technical, I can only explain soil amendment so many times before, even I, talk myself into a coma.
My day started by dropping kidlet off at day care as usual except her classroom door was locked.  I’m thinking “Very funny guys.  You have to take my child, it’s what I pay you for.”  Turns out they got a new security system in the day care and now every parent has to use the main door, punch a code to get in, and go through the entire building to get your kid.  *Sigh*  It’s just a pain in the butt.  So, I hummed the “Mission Impossible” theme while picking up kidlet tonight.  Administration didn’t find it funny, but the teachers did.
I got to work to discover that I underestimated the popularity of the most recent person to kick the bucket.  Normally, I wouldn’t mind….but then there’s the customer that holds you on the phone for 20 minutes telling you a story that they couldn’t cut the grass in the space made for their garden because a turtle was in it.  No, I’m not making it up…I don’t have the energy to make it up.
In lieu of payday, I treated myself to McDonald’s for lunch…at least I initially thought it was a treat.  That was until I used the ketchup dispenser in the restaurant and got foamy ketchup.  It looked normal going into the little paper cup and then turned orange-ish and continued growing like head on a beer.  I should have taken pictures.  I took new stuff which looked a little better and ate in anyway figuring if I got sick, I would have someone to sue.  After my meal I remembered the Salmonella Tomatoes and figured you guys can kiss my ass goodbye, but it’s 8:00p.m. and I’m still okay…so far.
I knew my day wasn’t great, but then I looked at some poor McDonald’s employee being sent out the door in a chinsey Ice Cream Cone Costume and a sign reading “49 Cent Cones” to wave at traffic.  Yep, my day may not have been good, but at least I wasn’t that guy.
My day ended with a call wanting to know if I could look up an order and tell her what plant was sent.  -This is never a good sign.  I looked and realized that I was the one to fill the order and I told her that I sent a Streptocarpus.  I get, “Are they poisonous to humans?”  I think it’s better if I don’t know that story.   Yikes.
Finally, Camp Staff has figured out that we’re going out tomorrow night.  Apparently after last week, I’m somewhat of an attraction.  I may have to start charging…..Anyway, by the sounds of it, we will have a lot of company, and with kidlet at Grandma’s, we don’t have a curfew. 
Look out Twitter!!!  http://twitter.com/knittwit